Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
