Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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