didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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