Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
