The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
