fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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