I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
