Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
