I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
