Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
