are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
