Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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