I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
