I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
