I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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