Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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