my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
its not stalking. its research.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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