areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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