Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
