At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
