I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
