I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Can you bring me the toilet please
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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