I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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