btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
