Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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