Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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