First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize