i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There r osticjed everywhere
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
