I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
