My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
