My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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