someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
