Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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