Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
