Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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