I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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