Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize