i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
