Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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