Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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