Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
