if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
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