I don't think brook has ever known best
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
