first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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