Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
