my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
