M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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