You really coming over, don't trick.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
