from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
