I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
