She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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