Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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