I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
