she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
