also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
