this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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