Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think I sprained my soul last night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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