Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
did i walk over a car last night?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
