Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
