I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Boobs are out for the taking
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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