I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
