i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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