Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
