hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
